You came back in so we can begin again.
Everything was going amazing. We smiled, we laughed we began to insight hypothetical plans because we knew we can.
I felt your love once again after not for nearly three long months you cared to make sure you made time for us.
We talked every day like before when we first began in the month of March on a warm spring day oh how indeed I was so glad it was you.
On a day full of luck we chose to be together in love oh how I’d long for that for so long.
Two months passed we made plans to travel to see each other not once but twice and never came to pass.
We were still together strong in love obsessed with each other and the thought of it ever being lost oh how much that scared me.
On a day in July a glorious day it should have been became the day for it was our unforeseen became our tragic end.
Oh how my heart broke shattered into a trillion tiny pieces I knew neither of us deserved this.
I couldn’t eat, sleep, or speak I was in so much physical emotional spiritual mental distressful pain I wanted it to just all come to an end.
I fought within myself for the things I wish I could have prevented from transpiring in those moments oh how tears poured down from my eyes never have I cried in so much pain before in my life.
My soul’s echos transverse through the darkness of time and space going unheard in a silent roar of silence cries I wanted life to be myself’s own end.
I begged and pleaded for forgiveness
I knew it wasn’t going to begin to be easy so therefore I went within diving to the depths of my own unknown spiritual self.
I had to scream out loud to the universe for spiritual intervention to help get me through because without you I knew I was continuously broken.
Realizing it wasn’t ever about you but my own inner self wounds were killing me from the inside out.
I had to walk away felt like the worst ever goodbye oh man how I wanted to die
But God brought me through.
You came back in we were slowly taking steps, we talked but not very often another time once again we had to go our separate ways.
I still continued to do my work within myself to get me to where I wanted to be evolving in to the best highest truest version of myself.
Not just for me but in hopes of being able to come back home to the one I truly deeply love that is you.
Time has passed seems like lifetimes to me now asking was it truly ever meant to be? Is there ever a chance to be for us one again?
Through the darkest age felt like a shadow stole my heart from my chest and stomped on it again and again.
The deep saddening part is I feel the pain still but in darkness is light so that’s what I’ve heard many say.
Hoping for the day of reconciliation with you and I for us oh I prayed everyday day tears flowing down every night I couldn’t even sleep or breath the pain overwhelmed my heart and soul oh so much but to the core remained unconditional love.
The memories of our past I reflect read and love on repeat everyday I couldn’t listen to anything I didn’t speak to anyone but battling the inner thoughts of my own brain.
Until one day in late July early August you came back to me for I was so overly joyed I smile all the days long feeling peace joy harmony happiness love truth in acceptance
It was meant to be.
We spoke everyday and after months of it not being said you replied and said “love you too”. You didn’t see it but I cried in happiness to hear you say you “love me” again.
Weeks past was amazing best it felt it was
we were making sort unexpected plans to spend the holiday weekend together but once again time stopped and ripped you from me once again.
Made me feel as if the universe said try try again and laughed and the words that was said ripped me to once again to trillions of tiny pieces never expected those words to be said from you of all people in times spaces.
I thought you knew me better than that but my heart says something completely different than my thoughts. In pits of darkness in my own o’ray I’m broken once again unsure of what to do but sit it my own pits of wallow as the tears of a river flows deep through me down my cheeks.
Was it a test or just revenge? The haunting thought back to square one to re-begin my long journey again deep in pains path to healing. I even write does this mirror back to me the thought of you and is this how you truly see, feel, and think about me?
Putting me back in a wounded crusted old scorched box therefore to never be opened again. Never has one said such cruel words to me that once claimed to love me oh so much.
When I think of what I did it was because of panic anxiety and distress that was my weeks end. But, this was just out right evilly said out of complete spite cruel criticism from the one I saw the light in to now unsure of how I see or picture you not sure if I can forgive you.
In my heart’s devastated state my souls inner depths of pain the tears I weep I still hold tremendous unconditional levels of love hope and light for you and I.
One day someday in this lifetime or another I focus on myself to fix what has been broken but not in anger or resentment but out of love for us going inner with peace searching for the light connecting soulfully back to the great divine for comfort. God is my comforting song.
Someday it will all come together in light for now I let go to rest in my deepest forms of spiritual in-depth healing. I choose peace love forgiveness in light to a kiss goodbye. I wait for the day we see one another as before better than ever but until then goodnight in souls heartache I sing this song.
I’m reminded as we are one
One in mind, soul, energy destined to be
You are me and I’m you
Oh how I have always known
I love you so.
