I hate you, I love you always

I hate that you treat me the way you do as if I am nothing or no one to you

You pick and choose when you want to call me your best friend and then call me nothing as if you don’t know me

Do I mean absolutely little to nothing to you? I fucking love you against all odds and the way you treat me but yet you still destroyed me over and over without fault or care

I don’t understand why I still care why I’m still here but I know deep down why it’s because I love you against all reason but at the same time I hate you I hate you for never choosing me wanting me mistreating me not loving me not caring for me and everything in the ways I do about you

I’ve shown up when you needed me wanted me every time but you never did the same for me

You destroyed me broke my heart my soul and it will never be repaired and it didn’t matter to you what you did to me, said to me, made me feel for you 

I don’t and have never mattered to you as a person a friend a best friend or anything else 

But you meant and still mean everything and I absolutely mean everything you mean absolutely everything to me 

You’re the love of my life my one my only one my best friend and yet you destroyed me broke me and for that I hate you but above all else I absolutely love you which out powers the hate and hurt and brokenness I feel because of you 

But sad truth is you’ll never know my love my care how much you matter to me everything because you’re to scared to admit you want us to give us a try you play it off but it’s all a life lie to yourself and to others 

I know better though and I’ll wait I have for four years and what is a life time or a hundred life times to wait for ones soulmate it’s truest of love patience loyalty it’s everything that this world is not but for me I am for you all that and more 

I hate you I love you always even though you broke me destroyed me in every way possible and so much more 

I love you I hate you but I love you above all else of meaning and reason

Forever and ever 

You're My #1 Girl

You’re always going to be my # 1 girl because even after all these years I’m still in awe of you and every time you call me doll makes me feel like I wanna fall 

You call I answer every time without pause because you are the one who calls like me without cause you and me I know are meant to be 

For me it has, is and will always be you even to the very ends of the seas I fall on my knees because I’m always weak when you and me are in soulfulness you’re vibes combine with mine and see it’s you and me we are meant to be now and forever 

I’ll wait and travel the world just to wait and see you and me finally truly you help me sleep I love thee through the ups and down, good and bad we are truly always meant to be just you and me for the last 1160 days you and me could be is meant to be always 

You’re my #1 girl always and forever 

Summer Pain, Spring Rain

Summer full of rain not sure how to rid of all the pain tears fall slow like spring rain but the summer is full of all the pain 

Soon you turned away and broke me 

Left me didn’t even say anything but mean ruthless things to me about me which caused much pain and tears that even the summer felt full of rain I wasn’t sure how to rid of all the pain, and tears I threw away that fell slowly like spring rain but the summer is full of all that hurt and pain  

I ran away to rid of my passed since all I felt was like trash from all the pain and tears that fell slowly like spring rain but come summer and it was full of all the pain 

Over the falls, over the springs, over the summer and through the winters you caused great pain, all you did each time was turn away and took no blame for the pain you caused that made each summer day full of rain as I did not know how to rid of the pain tears fall slow like spring rain 

You never bothered to realize the rain was my tears in rain in summer full of all the pain didn’t know how to rid of the rain as it slowly fell like spring rain. All the pain just remained

You did it time and time again as seasons changed, leafs fell from each tree, summer and spring brought much heat and tears through the rain and snow through the cold of winter 

You left and did not attempt to fix the tears in spring rain as summer was full of all this great pain, it still remains to this day 

Now we look we don’t see we glimpse as each day passes we never were meant to last past this

Summer full of rain not sure how to rid of all the pain tears fall slow like spring rain but the summer is full of all the pain 

Beautiful To Me

Beautiful to Me 

Because to me your just so beautiful, beautiful 

I just can’t stop saying how beautiful you are inside and out and all around 

You’re beautiful from earth to the heavens from the northern to southern from the eastern to the western you’re beautiful all around even below the ground 

I can’t stop saying how beautiful to me you’re just so beautiful, beautiful 

How did you get so beautiful 

I bet you’re beauty comes from your wonderful mother and you’re beautiful just like your mother because from her you came just as she came from Mother Earth they placed beauty among you inside and out and all around 

From the northern to the southern from the eastern to western you’re beautiful all around even below the ground 

From the moon to the sun from galaxy to galaxy and all throughout the stars 

To me all I see is your beauty inside and out and all around 

God blessed me with you and all I can do say how beautiful how beautiful you truly are inside and out and all around 

But now all seem to do is see the beauty on the outside but can't see what beauty remains within the inside but truly the outer beauty for you is true

Thank you Lord for the beautiful, beautiful person that was once by my side  

My Heart Breaks For You

My heart breaks for you
I know I’ll wait for you
I can’t wait to see you
You’re the blossoming red rose of my daily fresh breeze as lilies sprout in the days of eve
I want to run way from this city with you
And share in each other’s dreams but first my dream is to meet back up with you and to be with you and hopefully someday marry you because I love you your my heart of hearts my soul of souls my dream of dreams my first my last my fresh air my last breathe I breathe I breathe only for you this I do because my heart breaks for you