Only If There Was A Sign

You left with no word, not even a sign I misunderstood all that was in front of my very eyes. I thought all was fine between you and I but then the next second you were gone not there and that tore my heart apart. All I thought was man was it all my fault, I cried the moment I was told I stood feeling crushed not even a single heart beat was felt, apart of me was lost the moment you were gone. I fell to my knees and baled my head and just ...whispered dear lord was it something I said or did, why did it have to end. Tears rolled in and fell from my eyes rolled down my cheeks to the dark cold floor I was lost in my many thousands of thoughts, I was far from belief. I felt so far, I couldn't sleep because I was full of so many thoughts of you and me, you've been all I can see in my visions, I wake I think of you're name, I sleep I close my eyes and the words I speak is you're very name. I pray morning, day and night hoping all will go back to the way it was only if I could time travel I'd go back and change what I thought I could because I never wanted to see you leave it was the last thing I ever wanted, knowing now what I should've then I feel so depressed I can't focus on any other things besides you're very perfect beautiful eyes, my heart races every time a sign comes to my mind, and I smile and people all around wonder why, they ask If I'm okay and truth is I'm not, I'm a total wreck in side that feels like I was hit by a brick. I try to go around everyway about it but I can't keep lying about it. I am a mess because of the choices I made the chance I took and I look at the change that came and I feel ashamed completely utterly ashamed. There are so many feelings and thoughts I've tried to work through but doesn't matter you're all I can think of. I wish I could have said all what I want today but inside I look in the mirror and remember you're not there. I look at the skies and see the clouds and have said that is the mirror image of my very feeling inside. I smile but inside I cry, not just for the fact I care but I miss you and I don't know even if you knew. I truly do, If I could tell you now all I would do is kneel to you and say thank you and that I will always love you, far or near. I always wanted you to be my sweet dear.

The Words I Spoke

Only If the words I spoke I could take back, and never speak what I have spoke, I would take it all back, but It won't, the road from here is a dark cloudy one full of so much not even a word is spoke, I feel broke but I need you to know what I spoke I would take back, now knowing the impact it has hacked to make this all weird

I walk this road alone... for it is so cold, I drown in my thoughts and wish I had never said those words I spoke it made me feel broke, New day, new line but the words that came to my mind I already spoke and now I don't know, It's so cold walking a dark road with no word that has yet to be spoke, I tell you though the words I spoke I'd take back If I knew then what I do now, I will say this again and again I'm sorry I ever spoke.